Office Moment

I took a picture of my "ladies" and our Car hire manager today.....who knows it might to the last one for a while...

I will do an update blog this week with lotsa photos...I am trying to take as many belly pics as possible....soon it won't be there anymore

Irritation

To all my readers with a Wordpress blog, please accept my apologies at not commenting...but my work has blocked everything....boo hoo...so I cannot comment on your blogs

Nisey......I know that I am sometimes weird in how I think...but when I am faced with a tough decision I throw myself at the Universe...and wait for the signs....So be kind to yourself..be patient..and believe...and you will find that the answers you need are there for you..

Lisa-Marie....absolutely loving your blog..your little one is just too beautiful and motherhood has put a glow in your cheeks....it suits you

Love to all

Enjoy

Blog Challenge...Yippee YayYah

I have been sent a blog challenge...I have to post five pics of myself that I like...and also list five things about myself that I like

Well, it turned out harder than I thought.....I love so many pictures..I landed up adding an extra one for luck...hee hee.

Pic 1 - This was taken years back...the little girl in the front is me...I loved my Moms look in this picture. She was a beautiful woman.

Pic 2 - You guys have seen this before...but it is of me, My Mom and my sisters..all my favourite "gals" in one pic

Pic 3 - This is a typical picture of me and my B....him playing the fool and me just loving him..smile

Pic 4 - This is of me and my BFF, T.....it was taken in 2003....we were 29/30 years old....

Pic 5 - My B and I sharing a secret on our wedding day

Pic 6 - We have just said our vows, my B had kissed the bride and was now trying to pick me up...

It is so nice sometimes to go down memory lane and remember how blessed I am ..

Okay, back to challenge...5 things I love about me

1. I am built like a woman..I have a waist, hips and a bum.. (although quite plump right now)

2. I have very thick hair

3. I have the best family and husband in the world

4. I can think out of the box.

5. I believe in Miracles

I am not going to single anyone out for this challenge...but if you are up to it...let me know so I can pop in and have a squizz

Good Luck Wilmatjie

Today was my Assistant, Wilmas, last working day before giving birth. She is going in on Wednesday for a caesar......Good luck Wilmatjie..I will hold the fort for you whilst you are gone

Here are some pictures :

Me, Wilma and Rayleen (my Receptionist)

Pregnant bellies Galore...big Belly, small Belly

What is in A Name?

Todays update..the spotting and cramping is still there.... BUT..I am not stressed..more irritated....

I have decided to change my attitude yesterday. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself so, guess what, I have decided that I am going on a shopping spree this weekend..nothing like retail therapy to make me feel happy. It has been such a long time since I have just been shopping because I can!!!!! So, I have decided to kit myself out in a new wardrobe for my growing belly...exciting

Anyway, my Sister C gave me a website this weekend to look up names in. The theory is, each name has a meaning and the repetitive sound of that name can cause a personality to develop..does that make sense...hmmm...interesting

Well the website is http://www.kabalarians.com/ so I had found looking up our babies names

For a Boy:

As Leroy, you are spontaneous, happy-go-lucky, and you enjoy the company of others--the more the merrier.
You make friends easily as people are attracted to your warm and generous nature.
However, you have to watch that others do not take advantage of your generosity, for you are apt to be influenced by hard-luck stories and give when it might be more prudent not to.
You are ever on the watch for ways and means of making some "easy money" because this name spoils initiative and ambition, producing an easy-going, come-what-may nature which attaches value to money only for the self-enjoyment it can offer.
While the name Leroy creates the urge to be kind and thoughtful to others, we stress that it causes frustration through a scattered and emotional nature.

For a Girl:

Your name of Tanita makes you easy-going and refined, but detracts from your physical vitality.
You desire all the finer things in life--lovely clothes, home, furniture, and environment.
However, procrastination is your worst enemy, and you find yourself lacking the ambition to make your dreams a reality often because of lack of confidence.
People are inclined to take advantage of your sympathetic, tractable nature.
You naturally attract people with problems who seek your understanding and advice.
Though the name Tanita creates the urge to understand and help others, we emphasize that it causes procrastination, lack of confidence, and the inability to realize your goals and ambitions.

Now, if you are anything like me...you will be intriques and put in your own name. My name actually summed me up quite well...so it does make me think....

In the family, I am known at the Brat..so here is the meaning:

Your first name of Brat has given you energy, drive, and ambition, but also an almost excessively strong-willed and independent nature.
While you are creative, inventive, and ingenious in practical matters, and always ready to initiate and promote new undertakings, you often experience difficulty in bringing your undertakings to a successful conclusion because of your own changing interests or changing circumstances.
Though the name Brat creates the urge to be creative and original, we call attention to the challenge of controlling temper as a result of a highly intense, dissatisfied, and restless quality.

Now, although my name described me well...my nickname was a little off...

Try it...it is fun

On a lighter note...I bought the collection of Dr Seuss books for our baby...I am doing our nursery out in Dr Seuss...my Nephew, J, will be painting the characters on my wall in July

O, The Places you'll Go....smile

Wowee....What a Day?

Today has been a very eventful day....I have the Auditors in at the moment...so far, so good. The person I blogged about yesterday, approached me and told me that she was not rolling her eyes at my BFP, but at something else....admittedly not a nice thing to do..but we sorted it out and, like adults, decided...yupp..maybe we should start over again. I like that idea. Sometimes in life you get off on a wrong footing...It is nice to just scrap a crappy start and create a new better memory

My BFF is going through hell at the moment. I am not going to go into details...but trust me, it is hell. I am worried about her....and wish that she lived closer. In that way, I could provide her with a better support system and kick the arse of all those hurting her...

But, anyway, on a positive note, she sent me an email today. She has finally bought a book I have been nagging her to read. It is called "Woman who Love too Much"...

I was so happy...I picked up the phone and called my B...and his response, flattened me...
He said "Well, my baby, sometimes you need to be knocked flat on your back to notice the stars"
I was, like, Wow....that is so true. I thought about it the whole way home. I looked around and saw the most magnificent sunset..to me, this was a sign that I have had a good day, made good decisions and this is my reward

I am a real fairy child...I believe in anything and everything positive. If it is gives you hope...then I am a believer. If it puts a smile on your face...then I am a believer. If it gives you reason to live...then I am a believer (no...this is not Shrek).

I believe in fairies, I believe in God, I believe in the Universe, I believe in Tarot, I believe in Past life's, I believe in this life, I believe in the next life, I believe in Signs...I am constantly looking for natural signs..like a feather in front of a baby store...like birds playing in a fountain

Now, this might be amusing....but, hey..I learnt long time ago, not to sit on my Throne and judge. If a little statue makes a person a better person, If a couple of cards strewn across a table, makes a person treat the world with respect, If a beautiful sunset reminds a person that God gave you life, then who am I to judge?

I am still pregnant....yupp, breasts are still swollen. No other symptoms though...unless I have made then up..smile. I called Vitalab the other day and asked if I could go for another Beta. Nurse J says "Why?", I respond "Cause I am paranoid"..Nurse J says "Are you bleeding?" I say "No" so Nurse J says "No, you cannot go for a bloodtest". It took my B the whole Afternoon to roll up my lip off the floor....hee hee

I am going for my scan on the 14th April 2010...and I booked my Gynae appointment on the 19th May 2010.

Today, I am eternally grateful that I was given that Gift of life and I carry a child...

I am Pregnant

Yupp...that is what the blood test says..."You are pregnant...beta 124"...it feels unreal....I feel such elation with such depression.

I have started spotting...this has just added to my stress levels. I have been told it is quite normal....well, yupp..you try get through the next few days spotting!!!!. Hmmmmm...I thought the toilet paper "roll checks" were over once you get your BFP. I just need my Beta to double tomorrow...please Universe

I am totally confused by my emotions. I thought the day I got my BFP I would be so happy..it would mean the end of my "dry years"..if thats what I can call it. I would be like all the other woman...

Don't get me wrong...I am very happy. I just feel out of depth...like I am in between worlds right now. I actually don't belong anywhere. I am no longer "battling" and I am not "pregnant. Did I mention that I am also super sensitive at the moment. I hover between breaking out in smiles and bursting into tears. I have wanted to be pregnant since the age of 20/21...and it was never a possibility. Now I am "pregnant"....and what do I want to do....crawl back into my tortoise shell...

I got this poem this morning from one of my fertilicare ladies....it came at a time when I needed a reminder about having faith

Too Cute

Got this email from my assistant ...with the caption "Don’t need this for my boss!!!"

Pics

Just in case you are wondering....this is a picture of a Minature Pincher....this one happens to be my baby Roxy....(love her to bits)..she weighs 1.8 kgs and is "total bitch"..just like her Mommy

I Have Finally Lost my Mind

Yupp...you read right...I have finally lost my mind.

My Dad called me yesterday....dog in trouble...needs good home....Yupp, I put my hand up...

So I am getting yet another dog. Her name is "Sky" and she is a minature Pincher. She is one years old

Alas...i could not help myself...and it does not help to have my B as a big animal lover. Thank goodness we are going to be getting a smallholding / farm at the end of the year.....halleluja to small miracles

Our home will need to be renamed "Dogs Paradise"...but I am happy

My Pretend "Family"

On Sunday, my B, mom and I decided to pick up my sister C's three boys and take them to the Vanderbyl zoo for the day. They have a beautiful bird aviary there we wanted to have a look at. It was an absolutely amazing day. We picked them up at 8am.

Walking around the zoo, I had this amazing feeling of being a "real", even though it was pretend, family. The three boys were talking, laughing, running around..I was buying them cooldrinks, toys and snacks. It was lovely feeling like a family.

To anyone with a family, this might seem weird, almost psycho, but to me, it felt so natural. I love my nephews with all my heart. I also want to be a Mom. I want to take my LO's on trips. I want to walk with my head held high with a "yes, those are my kids" attitude...But, alas, I will wait. My turn will come

Today, I called my Brother G. His lazy good for nothing wife is determined to go through with the divorce. I am so angry with her. It is like the devil has possessed her Soul...evil!!!!!

The good news is that my Brother G is going to fight for custody of their two LO. I am so proud of him. The LO's are a boy S, 4yrs old and a girl H, 2 years old. My brother can definitely give them a better life and much more stable. I worry that my SIL will keep the kids from us.

The other good news is that my Brother G is coming to JHB this weekend for a "WHOLE" week....yahhoooooo...I am so happy. I love my brother. Although we have had our differences over the years, I have always looked up to my big brother (10 years older than me)

Not much news...so "fluit, fluit, my storie is uit"

I Feel Bland

I have not been blogging much this week. I feel somewhat bland. No reason. I just DO!

My week has been quite busy. I shouted at my BFF...then felt terrible about it. She is involved with a man that has been unfaithful..not once..not even twice. Anyone who knows me, knows how strongly I feel about infidelity. I hate it with a passion. To me, there are no excuses..no reasons..It is just wrong, wrong, wrong. But, it is not my place to tell T how to live her life. I am her friend and I will support her "NO MATTER WHAT"....so sending you hugs and kisses.

Then , I call my brother. His stupid bitch of a wife wants a divorce. Now, it turns out...she had an affair. Stupid Whore. (Can you tell I am angry?). My brother is not perfect. He is actually quite dull. BUT, he is a good man. My SIL sits at home all day. My brother gets home after work, cleans the kitchen, makes the supper and helps with the kids. She says that my brother does not talk "her language of love". Well, F... that, what about his language of love. The funny thing is that I love my SIL. We actually get on quite well. BUT guess what, he is my brother...and she is wrong...If my brother were an arshole, I might understand. But you do not leave a marriage because you are bored. Marriage takes work...maybe she is just too damn lazy...grrrrr

Ahhhhh....why the world turns in so many directions..I don't know..it just keeps us spinning

I put my CV on the market this week and I believe that the Universe will provide me with the perfect opportunity...so I am holding thumbs

I had a good conversation with my BFF about Donor Sperm. It was nice to know that should I decide to go that route, that I have support. Too many people voice their opinion about using a Donor that I felt shy to talk about it. But reality is...it might be my only opportunity to carry a child. DH and I had a good discussion after last FS visit. Although, he will look at adoption, it would be a last resort. He really wants to go donor if all else fails...so lets see where this road takes us...it will not fail, it will not fail, it will not fail (Universe, hear me loud and clear)

I have a busy Feb...well for me. I am normally such a homebody. I have something planned for every weekend. My Assistants' wedding, my friends baby shower and a "Get together" with some of the fertilicare forum ladies.

I have so much to be thankful for in my life. I need a bloody kick up my arse because of my bland attitude....but then, this too shall pass

So I went to See our Spiritual Healer

I suppose I expected a little too much....I wanted to know everything ...but alas it was not to be.

I focused on the normal issues about family, home, work and children...here are her answers

Family

My Mom is fine but needs to start focussing on herself and her interest

My sister D is doing good

My sister C is doing fine but has a deep sadness...but is not ready to deal with it

My brother G is depressed and will be so for a long time....(this was my only reason for concern)

My Dad is 100% fine but lives in his own world but happily...

My BFF, (yupp you T),I gave you good advise when I said "Get out now"....but alas you will have to be ready to make that decision (still love ya)

Home

My B and I would be moving in the next 2 years to a small holding/farm (ironically we are busy looking for a farm)

My home life is very good and our relationship has 100% blessings from up above

Work

My boss is an irritable man who is deeply uphappy. He needs to assert his authority to feel good. I would not be here for much longer. My boss would miss me and realise just how hard I worked for him

Children

Could not see anything but there was a possibility

I need to start focusing on my new life with my B. My life prior to my B was a shadow of darkness. I carried far too much responsibility. I now have a new life in which I can heal

So nothing new was revealed to me...but thats okay..I am still very happy that I got confirmation about the life that I am living

On a sadder note...this infertility journey had reared its ugly head again...

Last night was the first night my B and I have been intimate since my Laparotomy....yupp, my poor B has been on rations for a long time. It (last night)was wonderful..to say the least

However, immediately afterwards, I just burst into tears...I could not stop it. It felt like a river had burst its banks. The tears just came...the sadness was overwhelming.

My poor B was petrified that he had hurt me physically. However, I was just so sad that our baby would not be concieved in this incredible feeling of love that my B and I have. Instead, it would be chemically produced and fertilised in a dish.

I know, I know....I should be happy that at least I can have a baby. Well, F....that!!!!! It still makes me SAD

On a happier note, My B and I have plans. We are both so tired of urban living. We have been thinking alot about buying a small holding/farm. We went to see a few places this weekend just to get ideas. I have never felt so "right" about moving. I was totally at peace.

We have now made it our goal. By the end of 2010, our house will be on the market and we will be moving to the farm.....yippee

My BFF's answers to Questionaire

1. What did you do this year that you’d never done before? ***** haha (T..I deleted this answer..it will be our secret)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Never make them so never have to keep them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No

4. Did anyone close to you die? No

5. What countries did you visit? Paris

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? More relationship happiness. More time to enjoy myself.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 3 February, went out iwth Danny for the first time. 17 February, my friend Rob committed suicide :-(

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making it through another year in tact!

9. What was your biggest failure? Not being able to do anything to help Rob before he left the UK

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yeah High blood pressure and cycsts in my liver(and a broken heart)

11. What was the best thing you bought? A trip to Eurodisney for Phoebe's 7th birthday

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? My friend Michelle, for making it through her husband's death. And for my friend Melinda for being soo brave and never giving up!(ahh.thanks my friend)

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? Sad to say but you know who...(yupp, I know)

14. Where did most of your money go? Going out to dinner and a holiday to Eurodisney

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Having a boyfriend and having lots of nookies haha (sis...!!!!!!!)

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? Number 1

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer? a) Happier..b) Much thinner(yupp..too bloody thin) c) A tad poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Travel(and a trip to SA to see mmmeeeeeee)

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Working

20. How did you spend Christmas? With family and friends

21. Did you fall in love in 2009? Yes

22. What was your favourite TV program? Modern Family

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Yes

24. What was the best book you read? Don't think I read any!(gonna start with your self help books..hey?)

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? None really

26. What did you want and get? A boyfriend

27. What did you want and not get? Win the Lotto

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Nothing :-( 37

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? To see my BFF(thats me)

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? haha funny one

32. What kept you sane? My kids

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Edward Norton DAH(alas,that was no surprise)

34. What political issue stirred you the most?. not interested

35. Who did you miss? Friends and people who have the same sense of humour as me,. IE South AFricans!

36. Who was the best new person you met? Danny(hmmm..my friend we will talk about this one...grrrr)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. All good things to those who wait

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year..No idea!

Thanks Hopeful...you know I am an Addict

My Fellow blogger posted this on her blog....and the addict that I am I had to complete it....grrrrrr...thanks Mom-in-waiting!!!!



1. What did you do this year that you’d never done before? Married my B for love..and only love

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I was clever this year...i made a resolutions with a "get out of Jail" free clause...so no guilt yet. Yupp, I will keep making goals until the day I die

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My cousin Selma....

4. Did anyone close to you die? No humans..but two kitty babies...

5. What countries did you visit?Too poor to go overseas

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Alot more loving to give to my B.....he has been so supportive thru my emotional trantrums

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Thats easy...9th Feb 2009...the best day of my life...My B made me his wife

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I do not have one achievement that sticks out....I suppose it was just putting one foot in front of another, getting thru all the trials this year has brought...surviving whilst keeping my sanity

9. What was your biggest failure? Not giving enough attention to those that I love....

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not illness but I did have two surgeries and a painful HSG

11. What was the best thing you bought? We bought my B a new Double Cab...it is his pride and joy. I now call my B a "Bakkie Bully"

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? Sharon has a fairy tale story which was inspiring...but I have to go with my sister C. She has really got in touch with her religious side. She has kept her family together through some tough times. She has also learned to relax a litte more this year.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? Hmmm..I'd rather not say. But there are some "not so nice" people in this world who forget that your must treat people like you would like to be treated.

14. Where did most of your money go? home renovations...we brough the crappiest house in a decent area....so it needs alot of work

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? GETTING MARRIED

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? Funhouse by Pink. My B and I sing it at the top of our voices...each taking turns to sing a line

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer? a) Happier..in fat the happiest I have ever been in my life....b) Fatter...the fatest I have ever been.......c) Still poor..cannot get poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Creative goodies, "Me" Time and getting in touch with my Spiritual and mental wellbeing

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? "Loffing"

20. How did you spend Christmas? With mom and B

21. Did you fall in love in 2009? I learnt to love in a deeper sense with my B...our love really deepened with the infertility problems we faced

22. What was your favourite TV program? Idols

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Yupp...but not going into it

24. What was the best book you read? 5 Languages of Love; It's me, Anna

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Nothing this year...but I have always been a Jonathan butler baby...soul music

26. What did you want and get? A husband of my dreans

27. What did you want and not get? Win the Lotto...and a shot at IVF

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 37....it was my B's birthday as well...so we spent the entire day wishing each other " Happy Birthday"

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I had been given a chance to try an IVF process....my body has been a big disappointment to me this year

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Oh hell.....all my life I have kept up with fashion....but this year has been a disaster. I have put on so much weight and I REFUSE to spend alot of money on "fat" clothes. I plan to be back in my usual clothes shortly. So this has resulted in me buying "tent" dresses and jeans to get me through my "fat" stage

32. What kept you sane? My B

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?Hmmmm...I have always been a Vin Diesel girl....but he is like "so last season". I think the one celebrity that I have noticed this year (but not fancied in that sense) was Susan Boyle. I love the fact that everyone judged her and then she shut them up when she opened her mouth. Bought her CD for my Mom....very relaxing

34. What political issue stirred you the most?. I try not get involved in politics....I have too many problems of my own


35. Who did you miss? I miss two special ladies..My BFF, in London. She has had a tough year and I would love her to come home so that I can knock some sense into her..and to protect her from arsholes. Then, I miss my sister D...she lives in New Zealand. She is my big sister.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I have met the most wonderful people this year....but my money is always on my B...every year he will be the best new person I have met. Everyday we learn more about each other. He has changed my life in so many ways that I do not have the words to say "Thank you"

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. Good things happen to good people

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year..Now don't laugh..but my song for 2009 was "The Climb" by Hannah montana


I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high


There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Our Natural Healer

Now, some of you might think I am crazy...but I do believe in the Universe and its powers. This is not that I dont believe in God. I just believe that God and the Universe are one. To me, the Universe sends you messages.....and you must listen.

I believe in the power of Nature. I believe in the power of faith and positive thinking...

Today, my B went to see our Natural Healer.....I am going next Saturday.

Well, she gave us the most wonderful news I have had since the day B made me his wife. She told us that a "boy" spirit has chosen us for his parents. We just need to be patient. It will happen.

My eyes brimmed with tears when B told me this. This is the first time I really feel like going through hell to reached the joy of the other side. I will cross every bridge. I will walk through any fire....the idea that the posssiblity is there...waiting....just for us.

She also said that our love is destined for a lifetime. We are soul mates and are blessed with this kind of love. That I already knew. I do not think that I could love anyone anymore than I love my B. My love for him grows daily.....

So Universe...thank you for giving back my faith

Poem for Angels

One of the ladies on the forum posted the most beautiful poem for mothers that have experienced miscarriages... I just have to post it.......

These are my footprints, so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints never touched the ground at all.

Not one tiny footprint, for now I have my wings.
These tiny footprints were meant for other things.

You will hear my tiny footprints, in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angels tears, of joy and not from pain.

You will see my tiny footprints, in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you, if you give me just a chance.

You will see my tiny footprints, in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind, and call each one that grieves.

Most of all these tiny footprints, are found in Mummy and Daddy’s heart,
cause even though I'm gone now, we'll never truly part"

My Pleasant Surprise

Since my Laparotomy, I have been bracing myself for a painful "monthly"....I have my stock of painkillers (just in case). However, I woke up this morning and "it" had started. No pain, no warning...nothing...it was just there. I could not stop smiling. Yahoo....maybe my "womb" problems are finally resolved. Maybe, just maybe, I am semi normal again. I actually enjoyed my first day back at work. I got a S*** load of work done. So I am officially back in the game. No more backlog from being off for a month.

I called Vitalab to get a Doctors Sick Note for the time that I was off....and the Sister moaned at me. Apparently, I should have been booked off for 5-6 weeks and not the 4 weeks I have taken. "Hello"...does she have any idea how mad and crazy you go when you are at home......?????

My darling B came to fetch me from work yesterday. I drove myself to work but by the end of the day, I was just too pooped to drive myself home. So, for this week, I will be spoilt. My B will be driving me to and from work daily. Yippeeee.......yippeeeee.....

I was one lucky girl...no pain and being chaffeured around. I don't think life gets any better

Yippee...Its 2010

At last it is 2010....I am so happy. This year is going to be a good year. I have decided to focus on my Spiritual well being. I am going to do alot of courses...first one I am going to do is a Reiki course. I am determined to make a difference this year...not only for me, but for everyone around me. I want to thank all the loved ones that have supported and carried me through a bad year.

Well, I must say, 2010 did started with a bang. On Saturday night at 12:30 in the evening, our door bell rung. Both B and me got such a fright. We switched over to the cameras to see +/- 8 policeman and two policevans in our driveway....what the f**** !!!. My B went out to see what they wanted. Apparently, one of the neighbours heard a big bang and had called them. The police were going from door to door checking that all was in order. We think that our direct neighbours let off a crackers...arsholes!! At least is was excitement in our life...smile

On another note..I am back at work today. Yahoo...NOT!!! I was pleasantly surprised at how my ladies coped whilst I was away. There was very little backlog. I was happy that I did not come back to mountains of work.

I also got on the scale this morning. The first time since my op. I was very nervous because I have been eating like a little piglet whilst at home. I was surprised that I only weighed 64 kgs...not too bad. I was expecting to be closer to 70 kgs. I feel so fat. I feel like a little piglet. BUT the scale did not show it...shoooh...what a relief!

My B and I are working on a plan to get the money in order for us to do first IVF treatment. All our excess funds were spent on Vet bills and previous surgery....boo hoo....but I believe that somehow the money will come our way. Positive thinking hey?

As you can tell, my mind is in a better mind frame. From just a few weeks ago, when I vowed that I will not have a baby, to now, I am actually contemplating going forward. I know that deep down inside I must give it a shot. I have to put my fear of a caesar aside. Everyone keeps telling me that once the baby is born, I will forget about all the pain. Hmmmmmm...I wonder.

This year is going to be goooooodddddd....I just know it. I can feel it deep down in my soul.

I believe it..!