Quickly Touching Base

Shooohhh....what a hectic week.....

I spent the week rushing between work, hospital and home...all whilst being totally exhausted. My Dad was booked into Artwyp (xcuse spelling) Hospital...Yuck yuck yuck...It is a private hospital but it is situated in the middle of Kempton..it was horrible. Fortunately his heart Specialist had him transferred to Sunward in the East...much better. So everyday, I would race from work (in Edenvale) through to the hospital to visit...race back to work..do some work..then go home. My brother G, from Durban, also came up from Friday.

Dad had his Bypass surgery on Friday and all went well. I went to fetch him today as he was discharged....and he is doing much better...his fighting, full of shit nonsense is back.

My Brother also left yesterday to return to Durban....I loved having him but I am so glad to have my home back to me and my B...

I also had to take my Blog private....my Ex husband (the stalker) found it and started posting comments....It irritates me that I had to go private....We have been divorced for almost 5 years. I am remarried and pregnant. I am happy for the first time in my life. And then he pops up to F...it all up. Xcuse the language but, he is just plain stupid.

Anyway, back to good things.....we had our 28 weeks scan yesterday. Little Jada weighed in at 1.2 kgs..too cute. I cannot wait to meet this little soul.

Also, we completed all our purchases for the nursery this week....even bought a bottle of Gripe Water for "stock" purposes.

We now have a cot, pram, camp cot, bottles, dummies, nappies, toiletries, washing powder, softner, bath chair, toys, nail kit, hairbrush, towel nappies, ..I even bought the "Baby Sense" book to read. I have alot of reading to do...one of my friends bought me a book called "Bringing Up Girls" for my Baby shower. I am so scared of messing up. I have been given this precious gift.

Anyway, my B is almost here to pick me up...I am being spoilt this week...smile.

We missed out of the 27 weeks Belly shots...but will post 28 weeks Belly shots on Monday....

Love to all

Oh Wow...my Baby Shower

Yupp...it happened..I got the biggest surprise on Saturday. It was my baby shower and I did not have a clue that it was happening...My beautiful B managed to be the total con artist of the decade. He basically relied on the fact that I love my sister and wanted to show her the new clothes that I had just bought...IT WORKED. I wanted to show my sister. We popped around at her place...and there everyone was...waiting for my baby shower..

Wow...Wow..Wow...I had an absolute ball. I loved every minute of it. My sister C had done everything to perfection. The food was delicious. My B and I were both dressed up and we looked Cute.... Wow..wow..it was awesome. I was spoilt rotten. My B got to drink out of a nipple bottle (filled with Nesquick)..whilst I got to drink out of a potty filled with juice and a chocolate lunch bar...eeeeeuuuwwwwww

Yesterday, I spent the day unpacking all the lovely goodies into the cupboard for Jada and it really hit me hard that I am going to have a baby. It was very emotional packing all these goodies away. Jada already has 5 pairs of shoes...(we are trying to catch up to Aunty LM and Bella..hee hee.)

I have not stopped smiling since Saturday.......wow

I have started the count down until Jada is born...today we have 85 more days

Below are two pics of me and my B dressed up for the baby shower...and the next one is of me this morning in Jadas room..I am dressed in my first maternity dress I have bought.

Love to all

25 Week Update

I know I have been very slack with the written updates. It is just amazing how your mind frame changes and how "updating blogs" and "surfing forums" are no longer a priority. Instead it is replaced with watching your growing belly, trying to come to terms with the emotions going on inside and trying to get on top of everything so that life is easier when Jada comes

We had our "25 week" scan last week. Jada weighed in at a whopping 838g....quite abit above what she should be...that is my girl..she is like her Mommy..she loves her food..smile. Her due date has been moved forward to the 22 November 2010. Sorry I cannot post any scan pictures yet but they really are not as clear as the early day scans. We have our 3D scan in September so hopefully will get some amazing shots then.

We also went to our Spiritual healer to place blessings on our Jada. We asked our ancestors to guide and protect our little Jada through her journeys. We also bought some crystals (rose quartz and amethyst) which we have cleansed, blessed and put in the sun. These will be put into little Jadas room. I know that with her extremely religious Aunties and Uncle..and her spiritual bunny parents she will have all the protection she needs...smile. We also asked for guidance on choosing a date for Jada to enter the World. Jada chose the 16th November.....so hopefully all goes according to plan and Jada enters the World on the 16th November

My B and I have decided to take the long weekend in September and get away for a few days. It is amazing how you need it. I really miss my B. He has been working like a little Demon around the house trying to get all the "jobs" done before Jada is here. So although I see him every day, I really miss him. I just need to do "nothing with him"...so we are going to get away for a "Babymooner" before Jada comes. Life will change once she is here

Anyway, here are my updated photos for Week 25. Jada has grown quite a bit and is kicking her Mommy like a Springbok. PLease note that the Pj's I am wearing are not my only PJ's..hee hee...and I will probably have to change them soon cause my Bum is getting tooooooo big for them.

Enjoy...love Me

PS In the bottom photo is the new addition to the family...on my chest is our new kitten. His name is Ceasar...he is too damn cute

23 Week Update

Weight gain so far is 10 kgs...it seems to have slowed down. I have grown quite a bit since the 21 week mark and my little girl is kicking me every day...

I have started to relax and just enjoy....although I have days of becoming very emotional about the fact that I am pregnant...almost a disbelief that I am here.

I am taking bets on how much weight I will gain in total for my pregnancy. If one more person tells me how "big" I am...I am gonna scream. I am pregnant, for goodness sake.....smile....

Some More Baby Elephant Pics-21 Weeks

Pass Another Do-Nut

I know, I know...I have been out of it for a few days..but we have had no internet at work and I have really not felt like sitting on a computer when I get home. Lately when I get home, all I want to do is be a "good wife" to my B......you see, he had taken on all the cooking/cleaning since I fell pregnant and now finally, I am feeling better..so I have pulled up my socks and started cooking/cleaning again

Well, as you can see...there are the updated 20 weeks photos of my belly..I have expanded quite a bit...weighing in at 7.5 kgs more. I am officially more than half the way through my pregnancy (halfway was 19 weeks)..I have now started the countdown to "D" day.

This week has been a very emotional week. I have had so many ups and downs.

My first breakdown was regarding my weight......"Miss Baby Elephant"....I put on 4 kgs in 3 weeks and hit "panic" zone. I saw myself looking like a little balloon at the end of my pregnancy. I have since controlled the panic and realised "Hey, I am just going to be one of those woman you will look at and say "Shame, pregnancy has really made her Fat"....tough!!!!!!!!!! I have joined the gym to swim (permission obtained from my Gynae) and I eat a healthy diet (fortunately, I crave fresh fruit and veggies)....so "pass another do-nut"...My sister C had a good giggle imagining her pregnant sister in a bikini, with a swimming cap and goggles on...like a beached whale with sunglasses..

The second breakdown was a financial one. I started to panic about not having enough money to buy all the goodies I want for Jada. I started to think "Am I doing what is good for me or what is good for Jada"..cause my little girl will not know the difference between a "Peg pram or a Checkers Trolley....Thank goodness for my B. He listened calmly to my little "bitch" and agreed with me. Then allowed me to "bitch" some more and go back to the original plan. He calls in "Pregnancy hormones".....so everything returned to normal and I can buy what I originally planned....shooooohhhh..

I made the realisation last night that for years I have had this "pre-conceived fairy tale" idea about what pregnancy is all about. I would look at pregnant woman and see them "glow". I imagined them almost drifting on "Cloud 9"...ecstatic to be pregnant. I have now realised that, yupp, maybe there are woman who enjoy being pregnant... but I am just not one of them. Pregnancy is uncomfortable.....however, having said that, I absolutely love the idea of our little girl growing inside of me....and that is what makes pregnancy worth it

I have been offline for some time ...but I have had a little spy (thanks Munchkin) who has kept me updated on the latest "fertility gossip"....(I will catch-up on blogs this week)

So I just want to send love out to the following Angels :

1. Chopper......I cannot describe in words how chuffed I am at the birth of your little girl. "Happy Birthday Bella".....enjoy every minutes...you have been truely blessed

2. Ginger......hmmmmmm....I am watching this space. I think about you every day

3. Sophie...my special Swiss Angel...I was very sad about your news...but I know that you are moving closer and closer to your goal every day. Sending you love across the ocean

To anyone I have missed..I am sorry but I will catch up during the week

PS..the picture of the dogs is for my BFF..T...(those are my girls..Roxy, Gypsy and Lady..with my African Grey, Joco)

PPS..Thank T for also reminding me to stop bitching and just love my B...

Eighteen Weeks

Okay...so here they are ....the first official pictures of my "Big" Belly. I am now 18 weeks pregnants and my little Angel is growing at one rapid rate. My Belly grows on a daily basis and so does the scale.

Currently, I am weighing in 5.5 kgs more ......"freak out" stuff..I know. I always promised that I would not stress about my weight when I was pregnant ..but guess what...I LIED...hee hee

This week has brought a change is my leg and bottom size. These seem to be swelling past the "J Lo" effect. Apparantly this is quite normal. Body is storing fat for breastfeeding.

My Boobs have also jumped out some more. I had to go and buy some new Bras on Friday...and guess what size....my Darling sisters will eat their heart out for these knockers...I bought a 36DD..and it fits nicely...(naturally my B is loving having his own "Playgirl" at home)

We started the babies room this weekend. I have changed the theme again. When I thought I was having a little boy, I was determined to do Dr Seuss...but for some strange reason, having a little girl has made me all soft. I am doing her room in a soft lime green...I bought her a "Treehouse' sleigh cot and she is getting a Loola Bebe Confort pram....but I will post pictures when the room is finished.

Everything is happening so fast...we have our 19 weeks scan on Wednesday.

My Morningsickness is still hovering in the background but I can cope with this...the heartburn has set in..but it is okay..I can still handle it. I am starting to feel semi normal. I cannot wait for my tastebuds to return to "Pre-pregnancy" state.

Will KUP with regular "Belly" pics...

Love to all

Fatso No 1

Oh well...check out those Chipmunk cheeks....

We got the photos today of my B's works Soccer function...I nearly died....

I immediately called my B and Said "Why did you not let me know that I am looking so chubby" ...his response "You look beautiful"

So, I have decided I am going to post a weekly photo so that everyone can see how fat I am getting...heee heee

PS..I thought I was doing well. I am 17 weeks and have put on 3.5 kgs. My chipmunk cheeks are singing a different tune....well back to the carrots I go...

My 15W3D Scan - Extended Version

Well, yesterday was a day that changed my life forever. I cannot, cannot tell you how I feel inside cause my words are just not enough to express my joy....all the morning sickness, all the misery and moans, are so worth it

The day started with a butterfly sensation...this day was a good day. I met my B at the Gynaes office...we waited...at 9:30 sharp we went into his office..After some questions, I jumped onto his scanning table. He measured this...and measured that. Everything was perfect. Stitch was perfect. Fibroid was behaving. We had told him that we wanted to know the sex of our baby.

After sometime he looked at my B and said "What do you want?"...my B sheepishly admitted he wanted a little girl...but was happy with a little boy. Then Dr RvR looked at me and asked the same question. I admitted that a girl was first option but I just felt that it was a boy and I was happy with that. He smiled and said "Well, it is very clear...you are having a little Girl"

Well, that was me..I was finished...the tears rolled down my face...the tear rolled down my B's face...and Dr RvR battled to finish my scan with all the heaving in my stomach from my "snot en tranne"...it was the most magical feeling knowing that I have this beautiful, precious little girl growing inside of me...for this I give big thanks to the Universe

Now, there is something I must say which will help you understand why this "information" has been so emotional and good for me. All my life, I have wanted a little girl...a little girl that looked like her Mommy. I have dreamt about my little girl. However, I have also been petrified of having a little girl. As a child I had an experience that extended from the age of 6 until 11 years old...an experience that no child should ever have to go through. This has made me extra fearful of bringing a little girl into this world.

I was fearful that I will be over-protective of our little girl. I was afraid that History would repeat itself. I was afraid that I would fail as a Mother to notice the signs and protect my Angel. I felt that because of my past and my failure to deal with it, that the Universe would never entrust me with a little girl. But then the Universe, once again, intervened and said "M..you need to deal with this now and forever put it to rest"...so it sent me the most precious gift it could...A little Girl.

My B and I have already discussed this with our Counsellor...and I will be starting extra sessions to help me.

You see, God and the Universe knew what I needed ...and the message could not have been clearer..

Thank you

My 15W3D scan

I am so excited...the scan was absolutely amazing....I could not believe the miracle growing inside of me...

But I will update later.....just to let all my readers know...I am having a little Girl...so I welcome "Jada" into our lifes

If my B did not have ears his smile would have extended right around...

Yippeee....

One More Sleep

This is going to be a short blog. I am so excited......yippeee....

Why, you ask??????? ....hee hee

No 1. I am feeling alot better. I am still have morning sickness...but the space inbetween the feelings is getting alot longer....

No 2. My Sex drive is increasing...I know, I know..too much info...but I have one very happy husband at home

No 3. My B and I have Big plans for 2011...cannot discuss now..but it will be changing our lifes

No 4. I am going for our "16" week scan tomorrow. I am preparing myself that this scan will be awesome. I am hoping to get a better look at "Bratty Junior" and find out if it is a boy or a girl. Yahooooo

No 5. I have this butterfly sensation inside of me that says "Yoo World..I am pregnant"...It is nice..!!

So tomorrow, I will give you all a big update ....but for now...ONE MORE SLEEP

A Little Bit of This and Little Bit of That

Sorry I have been so quiet lately....I have been in "another kinda" mood. I have had my own little "Pity Party" with just me and my mind in attendance.

Work has been hectic. My Assistant, Wilma, had her baby..a beautiful little boy called Dewald..weighed in at 3.3 kgs. So basically, I have been doing my job and her job...kept me very occupied. Have just gone through month end..and had to put on my "focus" cap. I am always amazed how kick ass I can be when I need to. When the pressure is on at work, I deliver....and actually enjoy it.

On the pregnancy note, I am still suffering from all ailments you can think of...here is the lists

1. Hair loss

2. Metal taste in mouth

3. Daily nose bleeds

4. Daily gum bleeds

5. Tiredness

6. Burping

7. Cramping

8. Spotting

9. Backache

10. And my personal favourite, nausea accompanied by daily sessions of talking to my porcelain friend...which is aggravated more by the daily 5 tablets that I have to take

Now normally, I believe in mind over matter...but I have really taken major strain over the last week. I have slipped into a "major" depression. I have been unable to get my mind around positive thinking...I wake up every morning saying "Today is going to be a Good day"...I then greet my porcelain friend and all positiveness flushes away.

I have been so flat I have not even been able to comment on my normal blogs that I visit. I have thrown Fertilicare by the wayside (at the moment) because, honestly, I am battling to be positive. How can I tell someone that just got her BFN that I am sorry...when here I am pregnant and moaning....oh dear..I sound just awful

I have many a day burst into tears and said to my B "I cannot take this any more...two months of vomiting"...."I hate being pregnant"....I prayed to the the Universe to please help..either ease the nausea or give me the tools to cope. Help me, please...this is what I have wanted for so long.

To top off my "fantastic" mood, my poor B has been without Nookie nooks since the beginning of March and had starting to look at me with squint eyes. Okay, before you think that I am just cruel, understand...we started IVF end Feb...my B had a testicular biopsy (so was out of action)..I then fell pregnant and Vitalab told us under no circumstances must we have "intercourse" until 9 weeks...we listened. Then at 9 weeks, I started spotting...freak out...!!!!! But besides that, I was hurling all day long and I was not in the slightest bit interested in being amorous. Then came my 13 week scan which just topped off a fantastic pregnancy so far

I know, I know...this whole blog post is so pathetic..so full of me! me! me! me!..and self pity...

Well, my B and I had a huge fight on Sunday night...we do not fight...I think we have maybe 4 arguments a year. I cried myself to sleep. But, in the hindsight, it was the best thing to happen to me. My B is my world and is very patient with me. People who know my B will tell you, my B adores me and would do anything it required to protect me. He is a good man and deserves to be treated well

So, when I woke up Monday morning, I had a good look at me...and realised that the problem lies with me. I started to think about "What if I was pushing my B into another womans arms and he leaves me".....(freaky stuff, I know, because my B would never do something like that).

So, I have tried to change my attitude....I am eating all day but small meals to ease the morning sickness. I make sure that I have fruit on me in the car so that I am not nausea when I get home. I am trying to keep my mind very occupied so that I do not think about what my body is doing. And best of all, my B got some Nookie nooks...so he is in heaven at the moment and cannot stop smiling...hee hee!

Please, if you read this blog, I am very happy to be pregnant...I want our baby very much..I think I am just going through a phase in my life where I needed to hit a bottom level so that I can grow some more.

I am currently on my 4th day without vomiting..and I am very proud - SCRAP THAT ONE....I went 3 day without vomiting...

The Universe sent me all the ailments with my pregnancy to make me stronger, to make me appreciate my B even more..and in the end, to make me the best Mom in the world.

Thank you Universe

PS..We still do not know if our little Brat is a boy or a girl...we will find out hopefully at our 16 weeks scan next Wednesday.

My Thirteen Week Scan

We woke up yesterday morning feeling like we had the world in our hands. The sun was shining brightly, the birds were singing sweetly. Today was the day, we were going to find out "Is our Brat a boy or a girl?"

I had arranged with my new gynae, Dr RvR, for my Mom to come with to the scan. In hindsight, it was probably not such a good idea.

We got to the gynae early, filled out the forms and waited patiently.

Finally our turn...in we go. Dr RvR started with my history...."Any Ops"...yupp ..Oct 09 - Laparascopy, removed fibroid, endo, cyst, fallopian tubes....Dec 09..Laparotomy, removed adenemyosis, 2 fibroid....."So we have a little high risk pregnancy here" was his response...

"WTF"....high risk my foot...I am in perfect health....

Anyway,I hop onto the scan bed....Dr RvR does not want to do any internal scan "too risky"...so we proceed with a normal scan. He measures my cervix...and starts tapping his fingers on the scanner. "Whats wrong?"....He looks at me and says "We are going to have to put a McDonald Cerclage in" It turns out my cervix is 2.2cm when it should be 6cm wide.....Dr RvR explains to me and my B that if I do not put the stitch in, I will go into premature labour at 16-20 weeks pregnancy...SHIT!!!

He procedes with the scan and finds a Fibroid (1cm x 1.8cm) fighting with my Placenta. This is the probable cause for my spotting. He continues to explain that this fibroid needs to be monitored carefully. If is continues to grow, it will cause "big" problems....ANOTHER SHIT!!!!

Because of the spotting, I have to go onto an injection every two months for the Rhesus Negative factor....for those that do not understand...I am A- blood group...my B is O+....if my baby is A-, then all is well...however, if my baby is O+, then my body will view it as a foreign object and try and abort. Normally it is not a problem..and the woman normally gets an injection at the beginning and end of pregnancy....however, with me, because of the spotting, there is a possibility the blood of the baby might mix with my blood...so the injections are needed.

The scan revealed the baby had five fingers, no signs of "Down" syndrome, no signs of "SpinaBifida"...no abnormalites with the baby at all.. Heart rate was 160.

Our Baby will be born between 36-38 weeks of pregnancy to avoid further complications. I will be having a C Section - not negotiable.

I am booked for my McDonald Cerclage on Tuesday morning.

We left Dr RvR office in somewhat of a trance. I felt totally detached from the pregnancy. My B had stress written all over his face. I went shopping for maternity wear with my Mom and Sister C....had a wonderful time. Came home, got into bed and went to sleep

I woke up this morning utterly depressed and angry. Why am I angry?

I am angry because :
1. Why can I not just be normal? My dream baby conception was taken away from me...and now my trouble free pregnancy has be taken away
2. I hate what this is doing to my B. I look at him and my heart breaks. I can see the helplessness that he feels...he is unable to stop these things happening and cannot protect me...It is hard for him...
3. I am mourning my "vaginal birth with epidural"....I remember the pain of my Laparotomy clearly.

So for today, I am going to feel sorry for myself....I am going to mope around because my dream is gone....I am going to swear F's and B's at the Universe

Then tomorrow, I am going to pull myself today, re-think my dreams, put on my tough exterior and kick butt

Universe , please protect my B...he is my world

Good Bye First Trimester

Yesterday was officially my last day of the 1st Trimester.....I am very grateful to have got this far...People always give you the "Nightmare" scenarios of the first trimester...Well Good bye first Trimester...Hello second Trimester.

I must be honest..my expectations of pregnancy went out of the window the first day I said Hello to my porcelain friend. You see, when I was trying to have a baby, I always thought of pregnancy as this glamorous, content, satisfied, healthy, glowing stage in life...Never once did the thought morning sickness cross my mind. What thats!!!!! I always looked at woman who moaned about morning sickness and thought "Yeh, right, At least you are pregnant"....Well, to all those woman...I am Sorry...very very Sorry......smile.

So for today, I am sending a wish (or two) out to the Universe for my Second Trimester.

Wish no 1 - Please Universe..can you lift my morningsickness ..pretty please...can I just get back to feeling good

Wish no 2 - Please Universe...can you send "huge" hormones into me and make me into a little "sex" demon for my precious B...He has been so patient and kind and loving...I know that this will make him very happy...hee hee

Wish no 3 - Please Universe protect me in the 2nd Trimester...and watch over my "Brat"...this Brat is very precious and is loved by the whole family already..

Thank you Universe..