Question of Time

How long is my day while I wait for the end?
Why is it I wish they would simply blend?
Time is against me, yet I want him to rush
He gazes right through me and I don’t even blush

Looks from strangers and friends are more than a stare
Do they know what I’m thinking or should I care?
Where is my mind that I’m feeling so lost?
Oh what was I thinking when I counted the cost?

My body is changing, yet it’s not even me
Have they noticed, can they even see?
I’m so sad right now, yet I was so bold
Was warm before, now I’m so cold

I’m up, I’m down, I’m nothing
Now I’m alone and then I’m floating
Who are you and what do you need?
Leave me alone and let my heart bleed!

Who am I and where are you while this is happening?
Is this what it’s like while my body is ripening?
Please, oh please, oh please don’t pretend
Any more of this and it will drive me around the bend

2 weeks of this life is now far too long
Stay with me baby right where you belong
Don’t go , don’t leave ,don’t run, don’t die
Just wait 2 weeks, oh please don’t say goodbye


Just stay my child , please just stay
what ever you do I need you to stay...

Dear husband of mine

Dedicated to the DW's on this forum - I miss you my man ....

Dear husband of mine, why are you so far and distant,
have you forgotten the initial dreams and how we were so insistent?
Our lives were busy and good while we spoke of a family one day,
A family seemed so simple until we discovered it required more than play.


It’s a new way of life and I miss the way we used to be,
what has changed so much that you hardly talk to me ?
It no-ones fault that we have had to go this way
So why is it that for this I should pay?

You used to hold me and I always felt so secure,
those memories and thoughts are now all so obscure .
I know I'm so focused on trying for our little one
but without the drive I fear we will never get done .

I have undergone so many feelings, about which I have not spoken,
but its all because my stupid body is just so broken.
When I cry in silence and turn my back on you
It’s because I honestly do not know what I must do


Please understand I do love you so very much,
but the last thing on my mind is some of that playful touch .
I’m so afraid that I’ll never hear those little feet run
I’ll do anything for that even though this is no longer fun.

Join me please on this long lonely road,
Just once my honey, help me carry this load.
The distance is great and requires all we are
Love me, guide me, carry me, the road is so far


Hold my hand and don’t let me fall any more
at the end of the day you are still my core
I still love you my man, my man I still love you
I love you, only you

Your DW

Pre-conceived to my unconceived.

Once upon a time in a time in an age where I sought and longed I met someone who shared this with me “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” Jeremiah 1.5.
Those were the days when God meant more to me than anything…sad how we stray from our path …anyway that is private matter between me and him to resolve in our time and our way.
My point:
Little did I know that one day I would utter similar thoughts…..


You not around, not yet determined and far from conceived,
I don’t even know if you are a boy or a girl.
Yet, we have named you already and don’t worry, its not Nigella or Brianna.
Mommy picked the names, fight with her if you prefer Beulah, Horace or Earl…
But, Yes I agreed, so come fight with me too if you peeved.

Know that we already love you and we wish you were here,
I don’t even know when we will meet.
But, mommy has already planned your first day, sleep, sleep and more sleep
And when you wake up, mommy and I will tickle your feet…
Soon, I’m taking you and mommy home so we can be near.

Wait for us my little star, I see you twinkling every night,
So many stars, yet I know you because of the way you stand out.
Many a night I have thought of you, wondering what colour your eyes will be
If mommy knew how much I thought, would she smile or would she shout?
The time may come when you may fear, don’t little star because for you I’ll fight.


Sleep well tonight my little star I really wonder where you are

Love Daddy

Give me your pain

My beautiful B has written poetry for me and i am going to save it on my blog...because they are very special

My DW

Another week goes by my angel with many more to go
How can I get you through it?, I wish I could make the pain go
Your tears are drowning you, you can’t even breathe
All this pain and waiting just so that you will conceive

Your time has become about moments with every tear you shed
My time for you is now about how much blood I have bled.
I can hurt for you ,hurt like you , even be hurt by you
But I cannot be you , be what you are or make you new

Your pain and sadness has become so great and powerful
If only there was some way for me to make you less tearful
I’m watching you sleep now while my eyes fill with water
TELL me someone why is my wife been taken to the slaughter !

Your heart and your soul cry out for our child we have never seen
Just what is it with life sometimes that it has to be so mean?
I will now love you in ways that life simply cannot stop
Because from now on I will carry your pain and your tears until I drop.

Like I said before, soon we will meet the child we have yet to conceive
Of that I am certain no matter how long we bereave
I will always be there for you as you climb, no matter how steep
Sleep well my angel ,sleep well , I am watching over you as you sleep
Sleep well
DH