I had arranged with my new gynae, Dr RvR, for my Mom to come with to the scan. In hindsight, it was probably not such a good idea.
We got to the gynae early, filled out the forms and waited patiently.
Finally our turn...in we go. Dr RvR started with my history...."Any Ops"...yupp ..Oct 09 - Laparascopy, removed fibroid, endo, cyst, fallopian tubes....Dec 09..Laparotomy, removed adenemyosis, 2 fibroid....."So we have a little high risk pregnancy here" was his response...
"WTF"....high risk my foot...I am in perfect health....
Anyway,I hop onto the scan bed....Dr RvR does not want to do any internal scan "too risky"...so we proceed with a normal scan. He measures my cervix...and starts tapping his fingers on the scanner. "Whats wrong?"....He looks at me and says "We are going to have to put a McDonald Cerclage in" It turns out my cervix is 2.2cm when it should be 6cm wide.....Dr RvR explains to me and my B that if I do not put the stitch in, I will go into premature labour at 16-20 weeks pregnancy...SHIT!!!
He procedes with the scan and finds a Fibroid (1cm x 1.8cm) fighting with my Placenta. This is the probable cause for my spotting. He continues to explain that this fibroid needs to be monitored carefully. If is continues to grow, it will cause "big" problems....ANOTHER SHIT!!!!
Because of the spotting, I have to go onto an injection every two months for the Rhesus Negative factor....for those that do not understand...I am A- blood group...my B is O+....if my baby is A-, then all is well...however, if my baby is O+, then my body will view it as a foreign object and try and abort. Normally it is not a problem..and the woman normally gets an injection at the beginning and end of pregnancy....however, with me, because of the spotting, there is a possibility the blood of the baby might mix with my blood...so the injections are needed.
The scan revealed the baby had five fingers, no signs of "Down" syndrome, no signs of "SpinaBifida"...no abnormalites with the baby at all.. Heart rate was 160.
Our Baby will be born between 36-38 weeks of pregnancy to avoid further complications. I will be having a C Section - not negotiable.
I am booked for my McDonald Cerclage on Tuesday morning.
We left Dr RvR office in somewhat of a trance. I felt totally detached from the pregnancy. My B had stress written all over his face. I went shopping for maternity wear with my Mom and Sister C....had a wonderful time. Came home, got into bed and went to sleep
I woke up this morning utterly depressed and angry. Why am I angry?
I am angry because :
1. Why can I not just be normal? My dream baby conception was taken away from me...and now my trouble free pregnancy has be taken away
2. I hate what this is doing to my B. I look at him and my heart breaks. I can see the helplessness that he feels...he is unable to stop these things happening and cannot protect me...It is hard for him...
3. I am mourning my "vaginal birth with epidural"....I remember the pain of my Laparotomy clearly.
So for today, I am going to feel sorry for myself....I am going to mope around because my dream is gone....I am going to swear F's and B's at the Universe
Then tomorrow, I am going to pull myself today, re-think my dreams, put on my tough exterior and kick butt
Universe , please protect my B...he is my world
14 comments:
Hi...Hope by the time you read this you're feeling a little better. It's a funny old life, very seldom going to expectations....so sometimes we just need to go with the flow....and enjoy the journey, whichever route it takes, and not just hang out for the destination. I can totally relate to the stress you're feeling...been there done that! but you're in very capable hands and the gynae sounds awesome! I'm sending as much positivety as I can across the ocean..won't be long now and you'll start feeling the little flutters of Smudge moving and that's very special! xxx
Thirteen week scan...unlucky for some, it seems. Damn it....it really isn't fair. Things should have gone smoothly now. Grrr! But.....
Just keep on doing what you've been doing so far....taking baby steps and accepting what comes along. Little Smudge has so much love flowing into his tiny little life, that he'll get through all this hooha, scary as it may seem. He's a toughy and a fighter...definitely got a touch of his old Mom and Dad there already!!
So be sad and angry with the Universe for today and let all your friends and family carry on with their good thoughts and prayers for you, Bratty!
Love you xxx
your gynae seems to really know his/her stuff. thank goodness all of this was picked up now and not when the proverbial hits the fan.
remember that knowledge is power. you know all of this now and you can work at preventing anything horrible from happening.
you're in a really strong position right now and if anyone can put a happy face on it i'm sure its you hon.
I'm sorry that is really unpleasant news. I really hope that everything goes well from here. LOTSA LOVE
Bratty, as stressful as it is, it sounds like you are in good hands. I'm also A-. It's actually a very rare blood group and only makes up about 5% of the population! I once met an elderly woman who was A- and had three healthy children without any injections. So what is the gender of the Bratling or are you keeping it a secret? Good luck for the cerclage!
Huge hugs my friend. All I can say is Im here if you need an ear or anything else.
Gawd Bratty.. I don't actually know what to say. This is such a load of shit. Why the heck can't everything just be smooth sailing - after EVERYTHING that you have been through to get where you are??? Urgh! Please look after yourself, precious, precious girl. Sending love, light and strength! xxxx
Aaah Bratty - it's the pits, really it is. You deserved a trouble free plain sailing pregnancy. I guess the Universe sometimes has different ideas to ours! On the plus side sounds like you are being carefully monitored and are in excellent hands! And your brat is perfect..... Take lots of care of yourself and I will say a special prayer for you.
That must have been really scary hon. BUT the good news is that you are with THE best gynae for "high risk", he caught it early, he is monitoring the fibroid and the Brat will be just fine!
Thinking of you.
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xxx
Hey Brats - so sorry you have to have this blimming stress, but hang in there - modern medicine is all over high risk pregs like this and they know what to do to keep you safe! You are in good hands it sounds! Do you know I haven't seen updated feeds for your site on my blog list which is why I haven't visited your blog for ages!!!! Oh nooo...xxx
Ahh crap, does the stress never end?! Sorry you have to deal with this, but thank g-d baba is ok and you have a doc who seems to be on the ball. Sounds like you're in very good hands. Good luck for the procedure, thinking of you xx
Just think how strong this is going to make you! I'm sorry you have more stress to worry about, it sounds like you're in good hands. Keep up the positivity that's what got you to this point. Anything worth it in life is worth fighting for. So you fight fight fight and your little Brat is a fighter too so don't give up you're going to have a very beautiful baby :-) PS did you find out if it is a boy or girl?
UPDATE already :-P
Brats is everything ok? You've been so quiet. Let us know how it's going with you!
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