So I went to See our Spiritual Healer

I suppose I expected a little too much....I wanted to know everything ...but alas it was not to be.

I focused on the normal issues about family, home, work and children...here are her answers

Family

My Mom is fine but needs to start focussing on herself and her interest

My sister D is doing good

My sister C is doing fine but has a deep sadness...but is not ready to deal with it

My brother G is depressed and will be so for a long time....(this was my only reason for concern)

My Dad is 100% fine but lives in his own world but happily...

My BFF, (yupp you T),I gave you good advise when I said "Get out now"....but alas you will have to be ready to make that decision (still love ya)

Home

My B and I would be moving in the next 2 years to a small holding/farm (ironically we are busy looking for a farm)

My home life is very good and our relationship has 100% blessings from up above

Work

My boss is an irritable man who is deeply uphappy. He needs to assert his authority to feel good. I would not be here for much longer. My boss would miss me and realise just how hard I worked for him

Children

Could not see anything but there was a possibility

I need to start focusing on my new life with my B. My life prior to my B was a shadow of darkness. I carried far too much responsibility. I now have a new life in which I can heal

So nothing new was revealed to me...but thats okay..I am still very happy that I got confirmation about the life that I am living

On a sadder note...this infertility journey had reared its ugly head again...

Last night was the first night my B and I have been intimate since my Laparotomy....yupp, my poor B has been on rations for a long time. It (last night)was wonderful..to say the least

However, immediately afterwards, I just burst into tears...I could not stop it. It felt like a river had burst its banks. The tears just came...the sadness was overwhelming.

My poor B was petrified that he had hurt me physically. However, I was just so sad that our baby would not be concieved in this incredible feeling of love that my B and I have. Instead, it would be chemically produced and fertilised in a dish.

I know, I know....I should be happy that at least I can have a baby. Well, F....that!!!!! It still makes me SAD

On a happier note, My B and I have plans. We are both so tired of urban living. We have been thinking alot about buying a small holding/farm. We went to see a few places this weekend just to get ideas. I have never felt so "right" about moving. I was totally at peace.

We have now made it our goal. By the end of 2010, our house will be on the market and we will be moving to the farm.....yippee