Lets get this Party Started

Yahoo Yahooo......Tannie Van Rooyen het kom kuier.............

I am officially kickstarting my 1st IVF

If all goes according to schedule....Egg retrieval on the 10 March 2010....Egg transferral 13 March 2010.......Baby due end November 2010.....but I am going to have a Caesar and I am going to request delivery 12 November 2010....(me and my B's birthday?

PS...I joined Art Classes yesterday...I will start next Thursday....my lifelong dream

I Think My Bubble Popped

Today, I am feeling real sorry for myself....no particular reason...just flat. I woke up and felt like I did not put my body on recharge last night. ...what a yuck feeling!

I have a couple of blogs that I regularly comment on and never get any feedback...normally that would not bug me...but today, it saddens me...grrrrrr

I have tried all morning to break the cycle and keep positive, motivated and happy...but I have decided to give up...and let this emotion/feeling play itself out......hamba gashle pity party

The sky outside is dark and the rain is falling.....one of my friends from the forum found out that her latest cycle has not been a positive one....I feel like the heavens felt her pain...they are crying her tears.....I hope the sun comes out shortly.

When you hear news like this it brings home the reality of IVF and its process.....stats are not good. I suppose everyone wishes/believes that their 1st IVF will work....I will just have to take this one step at a time. I cannot go into this process not believing that it will work 1st time. I cannot control medical science, I cannot control what God and the Universe have install for me..but what I can control is how I feel...how I make others feel...and what I believe

I have come so far...I am not quitting now

I am now waiting for that stupid "Tannie Van Rooyen" to come....I have never wished for a period so hard. Once she comes, I can get my 1st IVF underway. (Personally, I think that is the reason I am so flat today....I think she is knocking on my door)

I have got everything in place...the money has been paid...medication has been received and stashed in the back of my cupboard (so it keeps cool) and I have my "microwave bean bag" for when I have to take the Gestone shots in the rear end.

However, I wish this horrible feeling would go away now...I have been on such a high for the last few days....it kinda feels weird to not feel good...

Ah well....God and the Universe gave me tomorrow...smile

The Devil in Me

I took my last contraceptive pill today...so now we wait for "Tannie Van Rooyen"....

Should I keep that date a secret and make my family members suffer along with me?????

I am soooooo evil...hee hee!!

Can I Beat this Feeling?

Something has come over me lately which I am really enjoying. I feel wonderful. I feel like smiling. I feel like I am alive.

I am totally convinced that my IVF is going to work. I cannot describe it. My Tarot Reader, D, describes it as "divinely blessed".....I guess thats what I am "Divinely Blessed"

Everyone is so excited for me...the energy I am receiving from my surroundings has left me in awe of the people I love, the people I work with and the people that just cross my path for awhile.

Maybe, I am setting myself up for disappointment. But I really don't think so. I have surrounded myself with positiveness. I bought myself a guardian angel (from Willow Tree) for my office. My Ladies at work have commented that my office is very peaceful.

I bought myself a bracelet that says "Have Faith, Expect Miracles".

My one staff member dreamt I had a little girl with long brown hair. A good sign if you ask me. I have been having dreams and thoughts. I am totally convinced they will get 20 million swimmers from my B and 21 eggs from me. These figures are swimming in my head...and they don't plan on leaving soon...smile.

On a practical side, I realised this morning that I only have six tablets left of my "pill"...then this whole IVF process starts kicking into place...I cannot believe that I have travelled this road and finally I am doing it..actually doing it!

I was a little concerned about the financial side...cause I am no rockafella....but Dad came through and gave me a loan for IVF. Yupp, I will have to pay it back..but it came with a good heart. My Tarot Reader, D, told me last year that I must carry on doing what I do and the "universe" will provide. Well, it did. I booked this IVF like I had the money....I give thanks!!

So today, my B went and paid our quote in full. He also got my script for my injections...so I will get these this weekend.

This time next month we will have our babies safely back in their Mommies tummy.

Until then, Angels protect my babies.....

My First IVF Time schedule

Okay...this post is especially for my two sisters and BFF, Tasha.....here is the information you have been waiting for so eagerly. Here is my IVF time schedule.


I am currently on the pill. This should stop on the 23 February 2010. I should start "Tannie Van Rooyen" in 5 days after stopping pill. This will mean that on the 1 March 2010 I start with my first IVF.


I will start with injections on the 2 March 2010. I should have egg retrieval on the 13 March 2010 and they will be fertilized for three days. On the 16 March 2010 they will put the fertilized eggs back in my body.


Then it is the 2 weeks waiting. Don't call me and ask if I feel pregnant yet...cause I will shout at you. Don't call me and ask if I have any "pregnancy" symptoms...cause I will use the most vulgar language on you. And definitely don't be a Smart Arse and think that you can bypass me and phone my B.....cause then I will flip. You will WAIT with me and go through the whole 2 weeks waiting in hell...not knowing is she or isn't she!!!!!!!!

Then, hopefully, by the end of March 2010, I will call all three of you and say "You are going to be an Aunty". After I call you, you will proceed to the nearest baby shop and spend a months salary buying me stuff........hee hee!!!

I am so excited. So all I ask in return is that you send all your prayers my ways...send that positive vibe out there...and lets get me pregnant.


Love you all

Pics

Just in case you are wondering....this is a picture of a Minature Pincher....this one happens to be my baby Roxy....(love her to bits)..she weighs 1.8 kgs and is "total bitch"..just like her Mommy

I Have Finally Lost my Mind

Yupp...you read right...I have finally lost my mind.

My Dad called me yesterday....dog in trouble...needs good home....Yupp, I put my hand up...

So I am getting yet another dog. Her name is "Sky" and she is a minature Pincher. She is one years old

Alas...i could not help myself...and it does not help to have my B as a big animal lover. Thank goodness we are going to be getting a smallholding / farm at the end of the year.....halleluja to small miracles

Our home will need to be renamed "Dogs Paradise"...but I am happy

Change of Attitude

I sat today, thinking about how negative I have been in the last few days...wrong, so wrong of me. How do I expect to receive goodness when I am sending out such negative feedback. Bad Brat!!!!!

So today, I am going to focus on the postive.

My Brother is staying with us for a week. His two children are absolutely beautiful. My niece has my B wrapped around her little finger. She sticks her arms in the air and immediately is snatched up by my B. She wraps her tiny arms around his neck. I can see that he is loving it. He would make an excellent "Daddy". God willing, I hope this will be our path to walk

My step daughter spent the weekend with us. She is twenty years old and is really becoming a woman. But her Dad, my B, often sits her down and has a heart to heart talk with her. It is only then that I see that innocence coming out. She looks at her Dad and I can see the love she has for him. She bought me a pair of baby socks this weekend...with "Happy Cats" on them. It is my Good Luck charm for my up and coming IVF.

This week has really been a week for family, celebrating the joys of having a brother and sisters. I would not change it for the world. Yeah, we fight...yeah, they like to tell me what to do (I am the baby)...but I cannot deny the warm sensation that fills my heart being around them.

I went to Vitalab on Tuesday for my CD (cycle day) 2. They scanned me. I cannot say it was a pleasant experience. Nothing like having "Tannie Van Rooyen" and your FS sticks his scanning probe up there. My B and I were in hysterics...trying to wipe away the evidence. It was Yuck...but hell, if this is the price to pay for a little one of our own, bring it on.

The IVF nurse has put me on the pill. I have been a good girl. I have taken it every morning along with my folic acid and multi vitamin. I wish that I could fast forward until the end of March to see if my IVF works...but that would be wishing my life away, again. I need to focus on today. I need to live for now.

Hello today..I welcome you with open arms

I HATE MY JOB

I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job.

Okay, now that I have got that out of my system....nahhhhh...I still don't feel better. Today, I have been in one of those " I feel sorry for myself and don't you dare take it the F... away from me" moods. I have burst into tears. I have shouted at my staff. I am a miserable b.i.t.c.h. today.

Our computers have been down. So I cannot access my accounts (work wise)..therefore, I am now officially running behind my tight schedule to complete my Management accounts.

My throat is sore and finally, my glorious AF has arrived, accompanied by one hellava PMS queen.

The good news is that I can go and get scanned tomorrow at Vitalab and start my "contraceptive" pill....yippee...I can finally get this ball rolling.

Today, I seriously debated with the Universe. Why do I have to fight for everything in my life? Why can I not just get something good without fighting for it? I am a good person. I treat people and animals well. I give my employer their ounce of flesh. Why..Why...why? Even a simple matter like having a baby is not simple...it is a battle and a fight......

I have seriously started the job hunting....but I think my personality has been so eroded by my ill treatment in this company that I am actually debating my skills. I feel incompetent and under qualified for every position.

Universe, please,....throw me a fricken life line!!!!!!!!!!!!