Contemplating Life

Yesterday was a turn around point for me. After the nonsense with my Directors, i went home, made a good cup of coffee (actually B made it), sat outside on my patio and contemplated my life with B and Mom.

I have always been a firm believer in the Universes' power....long before "The Secret" came out. I am true to my star sign, Scorpio, in that my curiosity about the unknown is intriguing to me.....and to compliment this fascination, my B is also a Scorpio. No-one understands a Scorpio like a Scorpio.

Anyway, i feel that I have lost my believe through my journey of "2009". This has been a terrible year for me...roll on "2010". I have allowed "people" to abuse me. I have allowed them to treat me this way....which is just so wrong. I need to take back my power. Life has hit me from every angle this year...and each time, i try and get up, i am hardly on my knees and then the next blow follows.

B and I decided to put deadlines on our expectations and goals...otherwise they remain dreams. I need to bring them into reality by giving them a timeline.

I need to get back to my "core" and rediscover my passions.

So back to my self help books i go. Back to my soul music. Back to my incense burning and meditation.

One of my favourite artists is Jonathan Butler...the words to his songs always speak to my heart.

At this time in my life, the words to one of his Gospel songs rings true to me

Jonathan Butler - It's Already There Lyrics

You spend your days hoping
You spend you nights wishing
You always feeling something is missing
Can't you see? Don't you know?
You don't have so far to go

It's already there what you're looking for
It's already there, don't have to search anymore
Open your eyes, believe that it's true
It's already there inside of you

You spend your time thinking, you'll never make it
Everyone loves you but your heart's always breaking
In my eyes, see what I see
You're beautiful to me

It's already there what you're looking for
It's already there, you don't have to search anymore
Open your eyes, just let it come through
It's already there inside of you

Keep looking outside yourself
But you won't find it anywhere else

It's already there what you're looking for
It's already there, don't have to search anymore
Open your eyes, just to let it come through
It's already there inside of you


So heres to new beginnings and fresh starts...love alot, laugh alot